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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Boundaries and Balance

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 10, 2017
  • 2 min read

Everyone should have boundaries. The things people shouldn’t cross because if they do, they are not respecting who you are, or your value system. Some peoples’ boundaries are so fine-tuned that they are out of balance, holding people at more than an arm’s length due to fear of yet another wound. (I’ve got walls man… like castle walls that have several layers of bricks with a space filled with rocks, sand, and clay - backed by several layers of bricks. Letting people into my inner sanctum would require storming the castle which I don’t take too well, and let’s face it – as evidence has thus far shown, they cannot get beyond my defenses.) There are others, whose boundaries are so thin anyone can walk through and do harm, those people have little respect for themselves.



When you analyze the two states you see that one is afraid, and the other is fearless, both wounded and let’s face it – stuck in the mud. In late September, I attempted to go on dates, only to find the walls I had tried so hard to tear down internally were indeed still there. While my three-week foray into the dating world ended abruptly knowing that I had to re-evaluate my balance in my boundaries. So how do you do that?


Ask yourself this:

  • Is the boundary part of your value system? (i.e. Friends first, then the rest – if he’s wanting to swap spit on the first date he’s not willing to listen to your value system.)

  • Is your value system true and appropriate for you? (some value systems are part of conditioning, and you may want to go back and check out what you were conditioned to believe first.)

  • Is this boundary part of a fear or lack of fear state (whichever the case is for you)?

  • What can you do to change the boundary if necessary, so it is more appropriate for you?

When you look at your boundaries in a balanced way, you can tear down a wall, or put one up that is appropriate for who YOU are. Thank you Absolem!


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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