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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Can You Stand On Your Head? - Perspective

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 15, 2017
  • 2 min read

Updated: Jul 3, 2018

Do you remember laying on your back looking at the ceiling, wondering what it would be like to walk on it? Perhaps you hung upside down on the monkey bars, and imagined you were floating above the other children? Perspective is the way you approach a person place or thing. In both cases you changed the viewpoint. Perspective is like the cat with the silly grin that disappears and reappears at will asking if you can stand on your head. Occasionally, something will come along and change your interpretation of things – it can appear as Your SMALL Voice, a friend, or event.



Englewood Metro Park Perspective


One such event during my marriage was while fishing. My husband of the time received a text while I was standing right next to him that said, “Hey there.” His body language went from being comfortable to fearful, jerky arm movements and all as he quickly pocketed the phone. A few moments later I walked away, when I returned he was texting on his phone. I was pleased that he wanted to spend time with me until I saw that message. In that one moment, my perspective changed to “He really doesn’t love me, does he?” I physically felt another brick being added to my wall, as I struggled internally with my trust issues. Without saying a word, I fought the trust demon, tried to regain the happy feeling I had – and lost. The rest of the evening I was unable to talk to him, stand next to him, or be with him. I just could not find a silver lining, give him trust or allowances for that text. When I questioned him, the response received was - I was making a mountain out of a mole hill, I was being too suspicious, it wasn’t his fault someone text him since it was a cross he had to bear from the second time he posted on dating sites. In short, I was the bad guy for my trust issues. At the time, I couldn’t see where my perspective had changed. So how do you tell when it does?


Ask this when your mood flips to the opposite mood:

  • Where was the moment that the emotion flipped?

  • What actions, words, thoughts changed the emotion?

  • Were they ego, conditioning, judgmental or value judgments that changed the mood?

  • Where did your thoughts go after the incident?


Having a different vision helps you seize the day, and standing on your desk rather than sitting on it can help. Had I known that at the time, I would have walked away from the table when love was no longer being served.

Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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