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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

Expectations

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 8, 2017
  • 2 min read

Like a pregnant mother awaits a child, or a child awaits Santa, expectations depend upon another person to produce a feeling you lack and look for from another to provide. Expectations are part of Projection in the mirror scenario. A synonym to expectation is hope, highlighting the words positive aspects, it can also be a negative experience. For example, I expected my children to choose to live with me rather than their father after my divorce. Sounds like a simple statement, right? Nope, their choice produced a butt hurt Ego reaction, causing a trickledown effect on my emotions and I had to face my fear of abandonment caused by childhood issues. This fear of abandonment shut down two-way communication (Speak YOUR Truth) and put up a wall between myself and all others (Shadow Self), making me feel unlovable. All boiling down to a fear of being alone which I projected onto my second husband (Projections & Reflections). So, let me say this again…


Expectations depend upon another person to produce a feeling you lack and look for from another to provide.


When you expect others to behave a certain way, or do things that you want them to do, you are only looking for a feeling that you lack. If the child’s room isn’t clean you feel uncomfortable because others can judge (Judgement & Value Judgement) you for the uncleanliness and you lack the courage to stand up and say it is the child’s responsibility to clean their room. (And there it is, “Who Are You?”) The cue that you are in an Expectation state is your Ego response.


If Karma and Ego are problematic, Expectations will really show you exactly what you are missing from who you are, and you’ll need to ask some very deep questions about those expectations.


Ask yourself the following:

  • Why did I have that expectation?

  • What did they do/not do/not provide that I felt I needed?

  • Why did I feel they had to provide it for me?

  • Why did I feel I lacked that emotion in myself?


Dancing around these questions should be very difficult, as expectations show your Shadow Self more clearly than Ego.


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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