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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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If Your Brain is “Off” You Can Listen

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 13, 2017
  • 2 min read

Whenever I think of the word “noggin,” it conjures up images of the kids on my block piling on the toboggan and sliding down the hill, hitting the ramp we made to fly across the street into another yard, all the while trying to miss the three trees on the other side. It was all about control, foot placement, and body movement. Your brain can be like that – a wild ride down a steep hill that should be controlled so you don’t slam up against madness. The other image that appears in my head when I think of that word is banging one’s head up against a wall (It is pretty graphic! What! what!)


One of my biggest downfalls is my mind. Constant thoughts roll through my brain at a speed that confuses me. I often feel trapped by my own deliberations, unable to escape (The Bear Trap). I notice that I fall out of conversations, get lost in contemplation while working, while cleaning, and driving, and walking the dog, and… and… and… the thoughts race. The content of the self-talk locks me in the cage, unable to engage fully in any action I am involved in (Ego). I am self-aware enough to recognize these moments (Mindfulness), identifying that those thoughts are based in either the past or future, yet not fully engaged in the moment. Here you meet another epiphany, BINGO, you can never truly shut off your mind! The trick is to allow your thinking to nag in the back ground like a bitter wife, while you ignore it in the foreground. (Yin and Yang, Merging the Masculine and the Feminine). So how do you notice that your mind is in control and not you?


Ponder if these things happen often:

  • Do you find yourself losing track of a conversation, wait for the other person to stop talking so you can say something?

  • Do you find yourself forgetting the next step in what you are doing because you were lost in thought?

  • Did you walk into the kitchen, and forget what you went there for?

  • If so, what were you thinking about, was it based in the past or future?

This is a step towards achieving meditation, for now note what is happening. You’ll be able to start ignoring the thoughts the more you practice - and noting that they appear during the moment.


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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