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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Mastered Choice

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 13, 2017
  • 2 min read

Updated: Jun 29, 2018

A regret is a bitter pill to swallow. So many of us say YES, when we really want to say NO. We do something for someone and immediately it turns sour and we are dissatisfied with the outcome. We hang on telling ourselves I am helping someone else, or I want this, or I made my bed – that is until something in you snaps. You throw as much of your junk in your car as quickly as you can and drive away without saying a word (Your SMALL Voice).


Then the internal audit begins, seeking medicine we review the incidents repeatedly until we find what went wrong. Lady Justice has come a calling, and like any legal situation the remedy should be fair and balanced for all parties. Abruptly, the general trend of your thoughts sinks in, and you’re sitting in regret (If Your Brain is “Off” You Can Listen). Some of us sit in Ego (Three Finger Rule in Finger Pointing), others turn that disillusionment inward, flailing themselves for weakness (Strengths in your Weaknesses). Man, oh man we can be hard task masters. Regret however is an emotion that asks you to comprehend the moment you knew you should have said NO. Like Expectations, regret tells you what you are missing from your authentic self. So why do people say YES when they know they should say NO, and how do you find that within yourself?


Ponder this:

  • When the incident began, what was your first instinct?

  • Was that instinct an Ego based reaction, or Conditioning (I can help because I am good at this – knowing that you’ll get stepped on. It’s my duty to help you – doing so doesn’t allow the other to learn from the process.)?

  • Did your gut check produce a NO feeling in your core self (We are not talking the mind, we are talking a physical reaction)?

  • Why did you really want to say NO?

When you have identified the reasons you wanted to say NO to begin with, you found a piece of yourself that you were missing. This is a boundary that you have.


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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