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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Projection & Reflection in the Mirror

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 8, 2017
  • 2 min read

As a young child we had the best McDonald’s restaurants in the area I grew up. One had the playground and train you could sit in and eat, and the other had mirrors on both sides of the seating area. I used to spend my mealtime looking very deeply into those mirrors and try to count the number of times I saw the same pictures and I would lose track of my count over and over again.


Every interaction between people is like pointing two mirrors face to face. What you see is an endless loop of repetitive images going perceptively deeper and deeper the longer you look at it. A mirror when situated in front of another mirror - both projects and reflects what is in between the two mirrors, and thus it is the same with people.


Once we have discovered that others reflect back to us what we really are, we also see that others can project onto us who they are. (This is the double mirror effect) If it is positive you will reflect a positive back to them. A smile, generates a smile. Laughter generates laughter. Anger generates anger, and so on. We as humans seldom take the time to check ourselves before we enter any interaction with another, and we typically end up projecting onto another without ever realizing we have done so. Projection can be simple like the above examples, or deeper issues like feeling abandoned because someone works all the time, so you just quit interacting thus projecting your feelings elsewhere. It is our obligation to know what it is we may be feeling so that we don’t do that to another person.


Being aware of how you feel at any given moment is part of Mindfulness.


To start building on this process ask yourself how the following:

  • Before you interact with the person, check your emotional level, what do you feel?

  • After you interact with the person, how did you feel during the interaction?

  • A day or two later, is the interaction still on your mind, and why?


For now, you just need to know how you felt. Build upon this by asking yourself these questions during any interaction with individuals.


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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