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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

​

On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Recognizing the Mirror in Others

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 6, 2017
  • 2 min read

People are really our mirrors. The people you surround yourself are like minded to you. If you surround yourself with people who spend all their time complaining, you find yourself complaining. Is this really the case?


If you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you first see all the negative things about yourself? The wrinkles, hair turning grey, eyes are lopsided, you feel you are too fat, your eyes do not smile like your lips do. The deeper you look, the more you see. Perhaps you see all the wonderful things about yourself. You look especially good today, or your hair has never been this shiny. Your clothing fits perfectly with the color of your eyes that are smiling from their core.


As you stand in front of other people, this is the effect you have. They are only showing you who you are by reciprocating in kind. You were first ‘attracted’ (and yes, I use this term loosely depending upon the situation) by all the positives in the other person. You saw something good in them, which they were only reflecting back to you. In long standing relationships, it gets more and more difficult to see the other by this mirror (mostly because of ego). We don’t take people coming at us in anger, or a judgmental state very well. When another person does this, it is from what we have done or not done (This is called Expectations), and that is where finger pointing comes into play.


Another way to put this is that the energy you put out, you receive back. If you think a particular class of person will act a certain way, you will only see that action in that class of person rather than see the person as they are themselves. By the same token, if you think your spouse doesn’t care for you because she didn’t cook for you every Sunday, you will get exactly that (This is called Projection). She won’t cook for you, and she doesn’t care. The key point here… and what people have a hard time seeing in the mirror – WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MIRROR. If you act a certain way (body language) and speak a certain way (positive and negative speech patterns) this is what you will get in return.


In short – you draw more flies with honey than you do venom… How do you see the Mirror in Others?


Ask yourself these questions in every interaction:

  • When someone tells you a negative about yourself, ask what it is you have done?

  • The approaching person has a violent outburst, ask what your body language conveyed.

  • If you notice a reoccurring pattern where others convey the same message about you or the situation you are in, ask how you are portraying yourself, what message are you putting out there?



Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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