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Hi Gwen!

Spiritual Journey to Unconditional Love

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On November 7, 2017 it will be exactly 11 months since my dark journey began.  At that time my soul was broken, incredible sadness and loss at the destruction of my marriage.  What began with blame and finger pointing, turned to shame and guilt, then deep sadness at the things I could not change about myself.  Transmuted to attempts to tear down walls I had built for protection.  All of this in an effort to understand the greatest gift of all, unconditional love.  Every step of this process involved the discovery of a new talent to be exercised for my betterment.  I feel the need to share my journey with others, so that when YOU meet loss, you too will have a place to start.  In laymen’s terms – what does it look like to remove your ego, how do you recognize the mirror, what really is that still small voice you hear, and how do you listen to it. 

 

Keep forever in your mind, that I know absolutely nothing, other than what I have gone through.  I am not an expert, I fall down, fail in my attempts, am inconsistent, and make mistakes like the rest of us.  I hope that this can be a place for others to come and share their thoughts on their healing journey.  I am open to discussion on other options and ways to heal (I love learning).  I will not tolerate bashing, I will not be vilified for my thoughts and beliefs, nor do I allow others to experience the same within this framework.  Nor will I hold your hands, your journey is after all your journey in life.  What I have to offer may not be for you, however you will have to do the work required to heal yourself if you wish to heal. 

 

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Shadow Self – the Nefarious and Elusive Snipe

  • Writer: Wendy S. Hockenberry
    Wendy S. Hockenberry
  • Nov 6, 2017
  • 2 min read

Oh, that shadow, the nefarious and elusive snipe that I beat the bushes for in campgrounds to the hilarity of my parents. If you’ve ever been snipe hunting as a child, you know you were snookered into believing these beasts were real. Holding the stick in your hand with a sack, or as we did pillow cases, and stealthily walked up to the bushes listening for the slightest sound. Hit the bush, and tried to catch an invisible monster coming from god knows which section of the bush.


Your shadow, is really the things you cannot see about yourself, and yet some ways they are lies you tell yourself. (Time to tell on myself here) “If I only try to control this situation just a little bit more, things will turn out better…” “If I grab his arm, he’ll understand I don’t want him to walk away…” These things all seem so innocent, until you look at them under the microscope. Under that blinding white light, magnified 10 times larger than they really are, you see fear, hurt, childishness. You don’t need spectacles to see how stupid it was to react from those base motives. Suddenly it hits you, you’ve been holding the bag not sure which way to turn, in fear the beast will escape.


If no one ever told you, a snipe, it’s tiny compared to how you imagine it to look.

Seeing your shadow self takes clear perception of the situation. So, how can you see it?


Ask yourself these questions:

  • What was it in the given situation that caused you to act in a certain manner?

  • Was that interaction positive on the surface yet can also be viewed in a negative light?

  • If the situation can be viewed from the negative, what was it that caused that negative?


In the above example, grabbing my ex-husbands arm was an attempt to make him listen. Digging deeper into the situation, I discovered there was a control issue. I wanted to control the situation. Drilling still lower, to the root cause, it was abandonment issues I was trying to control from a fear-based ego situation.


Last Updated June 11, 2018

For further treatment on this series please go to:

 
 
 

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