The Bear Trap

You’re walking along and suddenly your paw is captured, or you have just slammed up against the bars of a cage. You begin pacing, or pulling your paw to see if you can escape. The more you move the tighter the feeling gets.

TRAPPED!

You want to do this, but something is holding you back, you continue to pace, more and more frantic like the dogs in animal shelters who have been loose for months on their own. The inhumane bear traps could cause the animal to chew their foot off to escape the trapped feeling. Animals who have been trapped in humane traps are constantly tensed up waiting for the door to open, so they can escape. As humans we sense this feeling, as restriction – blaming it on everything else but ourselves. That trapped feeling builds and appears as frustration, coupled with the words “I Want,” and “Why isn’t so and so,” and the words “hurry up.” It is a feeling of “nope”, I cannot do something, building up over time causing listlessness and later anger if you are not self-aware. In short you are stuck in “Want”

In my marriage, I felt restricted. If I went out with my friends to relieve my loneliness I would not be respecting my husband who chose to work extra jobs with a buddy of his. I blamed my loneliness on him, rather than choosing to spend time with my friends who would have relieved that feeling in me. Obviously, I didn’t use the Three Finger Rule in Finger Pointing, having come to this realization now I also find an epiphany in saying YES. We spend all our time saying NO, I cannot do something due to some limitation we typically put upon ourselves. Because we are stuck in “Want” we cannot see the web of potential directions to head in to meet our end goal. If we restrict ourselves, we cannot grow so how do you say YES to things that have limitations?

Ask this:

• Is the limitation an issue of law and order (governmental not universal)?

• Is the limitation put upon us by another person (i.e. waiting upon another person to complete a step in your process, and similar situations)?

• Is the restriction a limitation you put upon yourself (i.e. I cannot go out to dinner with my friends because I have work tomorrow)?

• When did you begin feeling the trapped feeling? (Recognize it now so you can see it later and make appropriate choices the next time around)

As you begin feeling trapped, your goal is to find an alternate way to say YES that fits the confines of the situation. It may take some research and development to learn how to say Yes appropriately, but you can rise above “Want,” if you so choose and meet the desires half-way.

Last Updated June 11, 2018